Wednesday, October 28, 2009

spontaneity

return to spontaneity

this weekend was such an experience and so fulfilling...
hadn't had such a nice experience like that in awhile.

non-planned, generally spontaneous trip out of our present town.
with kids.
now TWO kids.
toddler and newborn.

they did really well in the car and both slept. and dh & i got some chatting time. we left w/o a plan, and w/o a specific location. only headed in a direction and made stops along the way whenever we wanted. stopped at a convenience store on steroids - that's how i describe "buckee's" - almost-grocery-store-sized-place with row upon rows of snacks. all branded with their crazy-lookin' beaver.

the whole store was branded. branded with the cartoon beaver. from all packaging & foods to the bathroom soap dispenser.

a pack of usually 99cent-sized gummies was $3.99
and i usually think the 99cent ones are slightly overpriced. haha...
i guess ppl really can charge for branding and ppl really will pay for branding.

like apple products.

i could totally now go off on a tangent about branding as i follow my stream of consciousness, but i will abstain.

now back to the weekend.

food. wonderful, delicious food! only 2nd to NYC in this nation. Houston.
Chinese food. YUM!

friday night: hot pot on a chilly night and pan fried flat noodles followed by fruit "bing" & red bean boba drink.

saturday morning: taiwanese breakfast at classic kitchen. everything a girl like me could ask for and want! all for under $30. dan bing, mung bean dan bing, hot fresh soymilk, you tiao (oil stick/fried dough), xian dou hua, scallion pancakes, fried dao xiao mian (knife carved noodles)...

Ikea...and...getting my hair done...(got my hair dyed & totally hacked off my hair, but i like it)

and more and more...

i feel blessed

blessed with family
blessed with kiddos
blessed with hubby
blessed with friends
blessed with progression
blessed from God

can't complain. got lots of great things going on.
even when things don't go smoothly, still feel blessed.
b/c there are pros & cons to everything.
and therefore always things to look forward to.
a door closes and another opens.
or they're all open...

all things are for our experience and learning...

and i'm content...
even when i seem apathetic or unmotivated,
i still FEEL blessed.

not too profound.
not too detailed.

just simply feel blessed.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

i want...

i want to be validated
i want to be random
i want to be asleep
i want to be me

Saturday, February 28, 2009

an incident...

the chair that we've been waiting for months to be re-upholstered was finally finished! we were so excited when we went by yesterday to see it. dh sat in it, and i sat it in. it was cushy and comfy and fit well. it was custom reupholstered in woven toile we purchased while in the nyc fashion district/fabric row. it was dh's favorite chair - a gentleman's chair, with a lot of style and comfort. a style they don't make anymore. so we were so excited when i found a custom upholstery guy to do the job.

well...living where we live...the coastal wind gets really strong. as i was looking out the backyard window just now, i saw the wind blow over our hose reel. not only did it just blow over, the wind was so strong it flipped it over and tossed it aside like it didn't weigh anything.

so that just gave me an image of what happened to our chair as it sat in the bed of the truck as dh drove it on the highway...and over the bridge & causeway. of course i wasn't there and don't know where or how it happened, but i know that driving over the bridge once, the wind was so strong it fought against our car, pushing it, and i had to fight for control of steering.

so sad. i was so sad. dh was so sad. our newly reupholstered chair was destroyed by the strong winds. lifted up off the bed of the truck and tossed onto the highway like a rag or piece of trash. when it was our lovely chair. when dh arrived home it was a sad day.

the chair now sits battered in the garage.

Friday, January 30, 2009

1st post of new year 2009

sad.

sad that the last post was my bday last year. who knows if anyone even reads this blog. and if they did, they certainly don't now! lol. it's been awhile since there's been anything to read!

many reasons have kept me from posting...being busy, the holidays, lots of things on the schedule and plate...too many blogs...and facebook taking up what used to be blogging time...being busy with hannah...not that there's nothing to muse about...there's tons to muse about...but of course the #1 reason...(besides the obvious of just not doing it)...but a lack of motivation and desire due to hormones and a parasite growing inside me... lol. "parasite" said with lots of love.

i've added a ticker on hannah's blog. for those that frequent there...you may have already seen it. i probably need to make hannah's blog a family blog now... b/c i just can't be diligent about blogging in so many different places...if it's only one place...then maybe...

so here's a cut & paste from a comment i left on a friend's fb:

to answer your question, oh i HATE being pregnant. i totally want a surrogate! i told dh if we have more, i need to find a surrogate to carry the baby or we adopt. my hormones are outta whack. i can't think straight. i don't remember things. i'm varying degrees of tired or exhuasted. i'm nauseous all day. thank goodness i'm not throwing up in layers this time around (thanks to drugs AND environment). hannah wrecks the house when i'm asleep. i'm not motivated. i'm not one that "nests".

i know i'm a total WHINER. yes. I'm not a pleasant pregnant lady. I've totally stopped my business. no more clients. and i'm still struggling to finish up the few things i have left. sigh.

yeah...so i don't blog b/c i all i'd want to do is complain...sorry i've done that here. but you asked how i was feeling... lol.


so that describes it in a nutshell...

i've plopped my daughter in front of the tv with multiple dvds (various baby einstein on repeat all day, various elmo replayed over and over, disney movies: mainly Nemo, etc) as my surrogate babysitting for a month or more now...it especially helped at the start of the new year when i had the stomach bug and the flu and bronchitis...on top of me being pregnant. then the nausea hit...and everything else went down the tubes. clients, work, keeping up with emails, people, "to do lists", housework, cleaning, etc. all of that went down the drain.

as for new year's resolutions...or goals...i had some in mind...but now that's all down the drain too. i just want to survive this pregnancy. have a successful l&d without too much drama & pain & complications. figure out how to care for 2. and keep sane. as for work and photography and business...that's ALL on hold. i need to focus on family. photographing family when i do photograph. and being healthy. though of course i still read and learn and meddle with info here and there.

as of late, i've been researching and reading up on chemicals in our daily care (cosmetics, shampoos, lotions, etc are all unregulated by FDA so there's actually quite a lot of them that have things we should avoid), foods & pesticides - the top 12 foods that are highly contaminated (peaches, apples, strawberries, bell peppers amongst them), other items like BPA free bottles etc, and other "green living" or "health related" topics and info that I should incorporate into my life/diet/habits. dh and I've read "the Enzyme Diet" and have discussed that lifestyle...i guess i could put all the links here... i've emailed them out to some peeps.

anyways...
i'll close this post for now...post it..and maybe add to it or do another one later.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

October 28th - my 30-something b-day

So yesterday October 28th was my 30-something-ish birthday. I'm not going to disclose my exact age hahaha...that's my little secret. Though you know I'm at LEAST 30.

My birthday celebration apparently started Monday afternoon...when two of my friends came over, surprised me, and took me out. They brought gifts and treated me to Marble Slab - I had a mix of caramel & amaretto with almonds in a waffle cone - YUM! Then in the evening, my husband took me out to Chili's (one of the only restaurants in our little town) where I had a sirloin, loaded mashed potatoes, some broccoli and veggies doused in pepper, and their Molten Chocolate Cake. DECADENT! The waiter was kind enough to announce my age as 21 to the whole restaurant.

Afterwards I did do more work...b/c I'm just like that. And dh had to wait till late for me to finish...but then the bday celebrations continued to the actual b-day day. So yesterday - on my actual birthday, I didn't do any work at all. I spent the day hanging out with my daughter & doing whatever we wanted. (I got her to sorta sing Happy Birthday to me - I sang it to myself with her a bunch - silly me.) We watched videos, I played this game that dh has gotten me addicted to recently. We did end up going to the grocery store in the afternoon, but then the evening was relaxed. Just exactly how I wanted it (especially after a long tiring weekend in San Antonio.) We had chocolate cake & ice cream. Thanks for all of the birthday wishes from my family & friends during the day and on facebook. Facebook can make a girl feel really popular.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Stress levels

So I'm going to post this here since I'm not allowed to post non-Hannah stuff on her blog anymore apparently...dh doesn't approve.

My stress levels today totally went sky high. Not like frazzled or crazy nerves...but the amount of things I need to do in the next week feels like it's exponentially multiplied...

it didn't help that the daughter was screaming and not wanting to nap - though she did fall asleep and WAS asleep until I tried to crawl out of bed...then she woke up, startled and didn't fall back asleep for an hour. I left her in her bed for the "naptime" allotted time...and felt bad & stressed out the whole time she was screaming bloody murder.

Granted, I've had a lot to do...photo processing...lots of weddings and photo shoots...and things to do for the biz - one of the big ones is the website that's not getting any time or attention. The Primary Program. Other ppl. Church responsibilities...family responsibilities....friend & neighbor responsibilities...

the CCSO....Danny called Tuesday and reminded me that I needed to get my music resume out to them ASAP...so i spent Tuesday working on it, and I sent it off...sad little piddly thing - my music resume. I've had resumes so I could work for the man...and scientific C.V....but never did I have a music resume... I just didn't. b/c I didn't need it. and since quitting my corporate job, I haven't wanted to work for the man, so the last updated resume I had is from 2004 or Jan 2005.

Anyways...so today I got some of the excerpts for the audition...which is in a week. yeah...let's see what i can do to polish up my skills in a week... Thank goodness for technology! On the internet I was able to find the complete orchestral scores and video recordings of both! And there was an attached pdf link to the 1st page of an excerpt. CCSO is going to snail mail me the Mozart #39 excerpt-pretty easy. But the Strauss Don Juan...I'll need some time to practice...and I did that today... YIKES! um yeah...not pleasant to hear. i butchered it. at one time maybe I could have sightread the sucker...but not today.

And then I tried to find a solo that sounded half decent. Never mind that I can't find any of my solo music... I had 2 pieces in my vln case...so I'm choosing the one with nice clean copies so I can make copies for the 5 judges. yeah... auditions...
um...and so it's a Sonata. not a Concerto. oh well... they just said solo.

It's funny...b/c I've wanted to play in a symphony for the past few years...until I discovered photography and the business has grown this year...and so now I'm a little overscheduled...or over-something-or-the-0ther.

it's late...i should not be rambling on a blog...i should either be productive getting work done, or ASLEEP. which is what dh is doing... wise man that he is.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

New tools!

YAY! I got my new 50mm f1.4 lens last Friday. Monday night I ordered Lightroom 2.0 from this vendor we found online...and it just came TODAY! Just NOW - the UPS guy showed up at our doorstep! I was totally surprised! SUPER DUPER fast and speedy and for $1.99 shipping! I like this new vendor! Thanks Johnathan for your help too!

Last week we also got 2 new batteries for my camera & 2 new 4GB CF cards.

I'm excited for Lightroom 2.0!!! Now I have it before this weekend's wedding and next weekend's wedding. Now to get it all set-up with presets...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Memories

Alright, I got this off of a friend's blog. I am interested in what peeps have to say. So I'm going to post this on all the blogs...depending on which one you link to.

Here are the directions:
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I have had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember.
2. Next, repost these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It is actually pretty funny to see the responses.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Strobist intro

You Tube has lots of videos...some rather informative/instructional.
This is a little introduction for beginning strobists:

Distortion



So this is video is pretty cool...I sorta wish I had these Photoshop skills.

It does make a statement about "beauty"
Distortion of "real" into "created" and perceived beauty.

The Power of Photoshop...

everything commercial is photoshopped nowadays.
you can't believe everything you see.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

new camera

crazy us... we've...mainly i've, been hemming and humming and hawing the past month or two over cameras... 40d? 5d? 40d? 5d? ahhh!

and then tonight....or now last night...we purchased a new camera on amazon... YOWZERS!

5 minutes later, i cancelled the order, and purchased a different camera... double the price

and now i'm STILL wavering!!! (over the costs...not the desire for a new camera)

i know. the camera is just a TOOL. but oh...what an expensive tool it is to upgrade. i decided that i really really wanted full frame...and then the 40d was "affordable" and i had talked to a canon rep that said the 40d has newer technology than the 5d, and unless i really want to blow up my pics really big, i didn't need the 5d...but oh...how i'd like the low light performance...

i've been holding off many weeks... yet this morning i had my friend & colleague call and compliment me on some of my photos...and also comment on the limitations that my current camera made on the quality of the low light photos from a wedding (saying my photos would have been even better with a better camera)....

and the current instant canon rebates which expire on july 19...which is now...like today.
oh and the $50 mail in upgrade rebate (which we don't qualify for b/c you have to HAVE the camera in hand and enter in the serial number by today july 19th...and we just ordered our camera and it's not delivered)

i should be totally excited and jumping up and down....but i feel anxiety b/c for us right now it's such a huge chunk of cash...

after i returned from meeting with a wedding client this afternoon...dh & i "discussed" and both felt peace about the 40d. so we bought it. afterwards, i made some comments that i was wondering if i really was upgrading (yes upgrading technology) but not upgrading image quality.

then dh was like..."just get the 5d!" which was VERY uncharacteristic of him...but the prices are low now (comparatively to a few months ago/last year) ....but b/c canon is probably going to release another new improved camera this fall??? rumors rumors. and with digital technology, prices just get lower and lower over time, right?

i should really invest in more glass...but the 5d is a huge improvement...some have called it a "classic" (in the digital world...a classic is only a few yrs old!)

ahhh! what glass would i get next if i didn't get a camera???
the very expensive 70-200mm f2.8L IS lens? or the wide angle 16-35mm???
most likely the 85mm 1.8 prime. i should get the 24mm 1.8 prime after that.
primes are good...and affordable...and super sharp...

but really...my current camera body fits a lot of my needs...and my current lenses too...

it's about expanding the business. and expanding the tools.
i should probably invest in a unique and custom website??? but the blog has been working for me. oh... the $$$ it takes to run a business.

i should be super duper happy and excited!

i am ...but it's accompanied by anxiety over $$$costs$$$. i didn't want to tap into family funds to expand the business. i wanted the business to fund itself...or do a small business loan.

especially since we know the importance of having a year's supply and the $ was supposed to be to help us finish & add to our year's supply & emergency funds.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

decisions, decisions

i've been researching & trying to decide what new equipment to buy. i really want to upgrade to a full frame dSLR and want some new lenses. since finances are a limiting factor (the business is funding itself - no debt or dipping into family funds), i need to decide what is most essential and of most value and worth as a next purchase.

wise advice i came across today: "always buy the best lens and least expensive non-discontinued dSLR"
which reinforced what i'd already decided...to buy the best lens for the purpose that i needed (good glass always retains its value - like the canon L series)...and the least expensive camera that does what i need it to do (the 5d as the best bet for a full-frame dSLR)

spent a lot of time searching details, prices, and ratings today. which was a very very good thing b/c the past 2 days i'd been highly considering buying some equipment that seemed like a great deal from a online retailer that i found from a google search. good thing that i did further research through the forum at Amazon.com and also ResellerRatings.com and saved myself from being scammed or given the hook & bait. apparently there are a lot of shady camera stores out there operating under different names online, but seems to be the same operation. i actually called the online seller, TWICE, on hold forever both times, and both times the phone mysteriously disconnected during the call after i asked the customer service rep a question. avoid soniccameras.com and photodynasty.com - don't waste your time!

if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is! better to buy from a reputable dealer that's been proven reliable. like amazon, b&h, adorama...like so many people have recommended.

on a side note...
i also did a search for our casio privia digital piano a couple of months ago, and found an AWESOME deal at musician's friend where our particular model was hundreds cheaper than anywhere else i looked. it was cheaper than the base model sold at bestbuy (that we had planned to buy). i called musician's friend and they had 24/7 customer service which was great and i ordered the product. (i had called another competing online retailer earlier but got voicemail?!) at musician's friend, the guy did sell me an extended warranty, but it was only like $50, and he wasn't pushy or salesy. the piano arrived as scheduled and it plays great! today i did a search on resellerratings.com for musician's friend and they didn't score very well, but i had a good experience with them. but their reviews had a mix of negative and positive comments. the other camera places had all consistently negative stories.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

being away from family...

as much as i love photography and shooting weddings...i'm really really sad to be away from my family. i just got home around 12:30am. hannah's asleep and isaac's asleep too. and we didn't get much family time together today b/c we've all been busy. (isaac was gone all morning till about noon-time helping out and doing service for someone in the ward since he's in the EQ Presidency. he was tired b/c he laid carpet and moved heavy stuff. and i needed a nap this afternoon b/c i've been burning the candle at both ends...and needed to recharge for tonight's event.)

last weekend's event was fun b/c isaac got to go with me and enjoy the evening. and we had a nice night out...but we did have to leave hannah with a sitter. i'm just hesitant about leaving hannah a ton b/c i'm worried about her and the allergies. and probably b/c i'm an overprotective mommy...

oh well...time to download photos and backup.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

random dreams

so last night i dreamed that while i was photographing a session, i was standing on a really tall stack of books all piled up on each other to get an overhead shot. then the stack of books fell and so did i. so i missed the shot.

this afternoon i was taking a nap, and i dreamed that i was shooting a wedding with isaac... and we were both 2nd shooting with sarah diane & chad...then we ended up dancing a bunch at the reception - and the reception was strange (you know how dreams go) and ended prematurely b/c there were no people there, and i guess we didnt' have really anything to shoot.

ok...so do you think i have photography on the mind?

well...i should go get ready for this evening, b/c i AM 2nd shooting with sarah diane for a wedding reception at the american bank center.