1st post of new year 2009

sad.

sad that the last post was my bday last year. who knows if anyone even reads this blog. and if they did, they certainly don't now! lol. it's been awhile since there's been anything to read!

many reasons have kept me from posting...being busy, the holidays, lots of things on the schedule and plate...too many blogs...and facebook taking up what used to be blogging time...being busy with hannah...not that there's nothing to muse about...there's tons to muse about...but of course the #1 reason...(besides the obvious of just not doing it)...but a lack of motivation and desire due to hormones and a parasite growing inside me... lol. "parasite" said with lots of love.

i've added a ticker on hannah's blog. for those that frequent there...you may have already seen it. i probably need to make hannah's blog a family blog now... b/c i just can't be diligent about blogging in so many different places...if it's only one place...then maybe...

so here's a cut & paste from a comment i left on a friend's fb:

to answer your question, oh i HATE being pregnant. i totally want a surrogate! i told dh if we have more, i need to find a surrogate to carry the baby or we adopt. my hormones are outta whack. i can't think straight. i don't remember things. i'm varying degrees of tired or exhuasted. i'm nauseous all day. thank goodness i'm not throwing up in layers this time around (thanks to drugs AND environment). hannah wrecks the house when i'm asleep. i'm not motivated. i'm not one that "nests".

i know i'm a total WHINER. yes. I'm not a pleasant pregnant lady. I've totally stopped my business. no more clients. and i'm still struggling to finish up the few things i have left. sigh.

yeah...so i don't blog b/c i all i'd want to do is complain...sorry i've done that here. but you asked how i was feeling... lol.

so that describes it in a nutshell...

i've plopped my daughter in front of the tv with multiple dvds (various baby einstein on repeat all day, various elmo replayed over and over, disney movies: mainly Nemo, etc) as my surrogate babysitting for a month or more now...it especially helped at the start of the new year when i had the stomach bug and the flu and bronchitis...on top of me being pregnant. then the nausea hit...and everything else went down the tubes. clients, work, keeping up with emails, people, "to do lists", housework, cleaning, etc. all of that went down the drain.

as for new year's resolutions...or goals...i had some in mind...but now that's all down the drain too. i just want to survive this pregnancy. have a successful l&d without too much drama & pain & complications. figure out how to care for 2. and keep sane. as for work and photography and business...that's ALL on hold. i need to focus on family. photographing family when i do photograph. and being healthy. though of course i still read and learn and meddle with info here and there.

as of late, i've been researching and reading up on chemicals in our daily care (cosmetics, shampoos, lotions, etc are all unregulated by FDA so there's actually quite a lot of them that have things we should avoid), foods & pesticides - the top 12 foods that are highly contaminated (peaches, apples, strawberries, bell peppers amongst them), other items like BPA free bottles etc, and other "green living" or "health related" topics and info that I should incorporate into my life/diet/habits. dh and I've read "the Enzyme Diet" and have discussed that lifestyle...i guess i could put all the links here... i've emailed them out to some peeps.

anyways...
i'll close this post for now...post it..and maybe add to it or do another one later.