happy chinese new year!

so it's the lunar new year...the year of the rat.

...called taiwan this morning and talked to my aunt. grandma apparently moved in with my uncle in taoyuan last week, so she wasn't there for me to talk to her...and i didn't realize with dst, the time change made it late there when i called and grandma would've been in bed anyways. but my aunt sent my mom good wishes.

off topic but in the conversation with my aunt: so i have a history of colon cancer...now breast cancer in the family...and heart disease...and high cholesterol...and what else?

we went & looked at the house again yesterday...it'd been awhile since we'd been there (over a week? i was last there on monday 1-28 i think). we met some of our future new neighbors & also saw the inside of the house being built across the street. as of last monday, there was only one house left on the street to be sold. basically 12 families have moved in on that street in december/january. it's a cul de sac - there were lots of kids out playing, 3 basketball hoops set up on the street, and the neighbors seem really friendly. there's lots of sahm's. we close in about 2 weeks. how exciting!

yesterday was overall a really great day for me. i was super productive. i also fell asleep putting hannah down...and so therefore went to bed early. hopefully today is even more productive. but i'm sorta tired since i woke up around 3:30/4am and haven't gone back to bed - wasn't able to sleep.

why r some ppl...

so good with their time in life, cherishing each moment, maximizing every opportunity, while others are wasteful and channel their energies in negative ways?

been reading news releases, and i just linked to glen beck's tribute to president hinckley and thought it was kind of him to pay tribute on cnn headline news. then i scrolled down to the comments and came across a slew of clutter, from nice comments to really wasteful ones. i use the term wasteful, because the comments were wasteful of time, my time to even have seen them, their time to have written them, and wasteful of the text used to write the message that was not worth the space it took up. they were just so inconsiderate - why? a wonderful man, so respected and precious to so many hearts has passed on, and just leave it be! whether or not it's your faith, whether or not it agrees with your beliefs, whatever the case, if Glen has paid tribute, have the decency and respect to not fill up the comments with useless negative banter!!!

so...that's why i don't have a youtube acct - too much on there...just too much...

i mean it's everywhere with the internet & satellite age...this era and slew of technology and copious amounts of information (like blogs - this particular blog filled with stuff from my mind).

i feel the same about the current state of the media, the entertainment & sports industry, the economy, and the coverage of the presidential campaign. "too much!" i was trying to watch a bit the past few weeks, trying to read and stay current, but here's soooo much "noise" out there. media commenting on this or that. opinions opinions, opinions here and there and everywhere. predictions, polls, opposition to this or that. judgment and criticism of this or that. negativity. stress. conflict. no wonder people exacerbate existing conditions and have health issues.

i admire all of the candidates and what they are doing...running for office, in the public eye, sharing parts of themselves with the nation, putting themselves out there, trying to make or take their place in the world, in history. that's a big deal, no matter whether you win or lose, whether you're popular or the underdog. the process - it's a big deal.

but let's just pause here. i mean would all of those people, media people, entertainment people, political people, everyday people...you included...live their life the way they are currently living life, if they knew they only had a day, a week, a few months, or even a year left of life? how would YOU live your life if you knew your time was limited? what about EXTREMELY limited?

well...all of our lives here on this earth are limited. no one knows when time here is up, but all i can say is, you better live it to the best of your ability. not to throw caution to the wind and do destructive things. but to be good, and decent, and make the world a better place because you were in it and breathed the air and drank the water and ate the fruits of the earth. to truly be doing the things you WANT to do and SHOULD be doing. to really choose each and everyday those things that are most precious and important, to do those essential things, to cherish this particular moment...whatever moment that may be, exactly, right now. what matters the most to you? what are things that you haven't done, but should do? how would you change your life or would you even change anything at all? what have you done with your time in this precious mortal life?

feeling blue

so today it was confirmed that my mom has breast cancer. i know that there are lots of breast cancer survivors, so at first i was totally fine...

then little things all started adding up... talking to my sister......and then my aunt r who called...so then it was a conference call & my sister's comment on what life would be like without mom and how we'd miss her...then discovering the dependent having a chipped tooth - feeling like a bad mom b/c i have no idea how & when she got it...and thinking about president hinckley's passing and remembering his funeral from this weekend... the tears were freely flowing by the end of the service in the conference center.

anyways...

we've been really busy and i haven't had tons of blogging time/opportunities. last week lots happened...and online time was spent doing other stuff...

i guess i could wax prolific... b/c i could reflect on a lot of stuff close to my heart... but i'm not feeling up to it... i don't have much to say... no eloquence... so i'm going to stop now...

president hinckley

will be dearly missed. president hinckley holds such a dear place in so many hearts, mine included.

so we will move forward in faith with president monson.

amazing what can change

in a very very short period of time! this morning we thought we were going forward with the purchase of a ~1640 sqft 4b/2b home built in 2000. we were trying to negotiate the repairs on the patio roof & some windows (post-inspection). the seller had totally agreed to some terms a few days ago, and then today the seller decided he didn't want to repair anything, and took back stuff he'd said he'd do - going back to the original contract. so basically it ended negotiations and we're pulling out.

which was funny b/c both of us felt relieved. we felt relief. lol. of course we were perplexed very briefly, pondered what the seller could be experiencing...frustration, yes. we had just asked for extended time on our options period to get repair quotes to find the best rate... but with all of the going back and forth (probably an issue of how his realtor presented stuff - it's like the telephone game with the middle-men) who wouldn't get frustrated?

so we thought about how much we wanted the house...and we both seemed blase...it was nice...yes we wanted it b/c the location & area was nice, the backyard fence opening with access to the park...nice covered patio...yes it'd be nice to have a plasma TV in the deal...but NO we weren't sad about not having the house, b/c it wasn't what we really really wanted...it was like, ok let's move on to the next one...

now what does that mean? it means that we subsequently went back to exploring our options, and we discovered a wonderful opportunity & GREAT deal! as of 3pm this afternoon, we're buying a NEWly CONSTRUCTED home! YAY! and i'm TOTALLY EXCITED & HYPER & HAPPY! so THIS is how I'm supposed to feel when it's RIGHT. we're BOTH totally excited!

these homes were ones that I wanted back in May...and we did some color & options selections, but then the final answer we decided was no, we needed to wait. then after moving here and renting...and exploring more options as we resumed our house hunt, i still really liked these homes and their energy efficiency...after our options exploration earlier this week, and finding out more information, we followed up again today.

long story short...the retail price tag had always been the issue with dh. but today we were able to find one at a great deal which we didn't think could happen. it was a no-brainer. so now we're buying a new construction ~1840sqft 4b/2b home with a great kitchen (corian counters, stainless steel appliances), great master suite & bath (garden tub, big & spacious), and great floor plan for us.
happiness!

the end of a week

that has gone by so quickly. even though i'm a sahm, i still view the "work week" as M-F b/c then Friday evening to Sunday evening, I have my partner in crime to help with the dependent!

i feel like i've learned a lot this week. all about the whole collection of canon lenses and made a list of the equipment that i need & want and order of acquisition (according to our current financial situation). i ordered a new lens on tuesday w/ bday and xmas money - yay! so i've been patiently waiting for it to arrive in the mail.

today i just got back from getting together with some of the ladies in the chinese community here, and for lunch i had the BEST homemade chinese food that i've had in a while - beijing style. i didn't even realize there was a rather large chinese population and a close knit community of peeps here. i met the first at library storytime, then more thru dh's co-wker, and apparently it's just growing from there.

lunch today was at a lady's whose hubby is president of the chinese association here - and they live in a really nice place off of the ritzy ocean drive. i didn't think i'd ever meet anyone who actually lived on ocean drive. well, now i have! she was super duper nice. it was hard for me to understand her chinese b/c it was extreme beijing! she was a wonderful cook and wonderful hostess. she had already cooked a lot of the really tasty stuff in the garage when we arrived. she's set up a whole "mini-kitchen" in the garage so that she doesn't smell up the house with the strong aromas. i thought that was a nifty idea.

the lady i met at the library had asked me to play violin for the chinese new year celebration on february 9th. so 3 of us went over there to plan out the music...one is also going to sing - she has a gorgeous voice and sings exceptionally well. so i think we decided for me to play mo li hua, the theme from the butterfly lovers violin concerto, and i may try to put some other stuff together, maybe from yellow river or some traditional tunes.

the dependent had fun also... there was another baby who was 15 months that she played with. but it really cut into her naptime...and so she was waaay fussy on the ride home.

another thing i've been pondering b/c it keeps on popping up is teaching violin. it was suggested today by one of the ladies that i should teach after the dependent gets a bit older. periodically ppl have asked if i teach violin. sometimes they ask if i will teach their kids. my standard reply: sorry, i used to, but not anymore. i've just moved too much and i don't feel it'd be fair to teach and then have to move and then what do i do with the students? plus i am outta the loop a bit. i would like to supplement dh's income, and i feel guilty sometimes for not teaching & i express it to him... his reply is: "do you LOVE teaching?" and my answer is "no." and he just smiles at me and says, "okay then." so i'll sometimes reconsider it again and truly i don't think i LOVE teaching violin. i don't think i've ever liked teaching violin. not that i DISlike it either. it's just that there are other things i love more...and am more interested in than teaching violin.

anyways...i don't know why i got into that. i guess it's stuff that's been going on in my brain that i felt i should document. and i feel guilty for all the time and money and training that's "going to waste" but i think that's my ingrained parent voice inside and not my voice.

busy busy busy

signed the amendment to the contract (post-inspection changes and things we're asking for) today. realtor came to our place...since we're down to 1 car. the other car is going to take a LOT more $$$ to fix than anticipated. murphy's law!

we're going to have a lot more $outflow than $inflow.

i have so many things on my to-do list.... some things do fall off. like i was going to help a friend today for post-wisdom-teeth-extraction support. but her hubby is staying with her...and so i don't have that to do.

so much to learn...big learning curve for me for my recent endeavors.

and dropping the ball on domestic things. i've never been a fan of domesticity...and things related. i'm getting worse now. dh has been picking up the slack.

my time gets sucked away by things...like my inability to stop a project or something i'm working on until it's done or at a completion. therefore my dislike of on-going projects (like scrapbooking) that just never end. i HAVE to have an end. so i only start projects that have a definite beginning and end. preferably, completion in one sitting or a limited span of time (like a few days or a week...) otherwise i choose to not do things.

long-term projects need to be intrinsically fulfilling in order for me to continue them... then i consider them long-term learning... like art, photography, music, dance. those are long term interests. but i can't focus on all of them at once. growing up it was 1st art...then music for a long time...a bit of dance...art again briefly interspersed throughout...and now it's photography.

housework on the other hand, it's never-ending! it's on-going... clean something, use it, it gets disorganized/dirty, clean it again, and the cycle goes on and on forever. dishes, laundry, cleaning, bathrooms, yardwork. it never ends. daily. weekly. monthly. yearly. ahhhh...

then childcare! once you have a child...that's it! say good-bye to abundant personal time. child care is also never-ending... and you are then a parent forever.
'nuff said.

doubts and second thoughts

about the house... of course we've had them. 1. should we buy now? 2. is this particular house the house we should buy? i mean with the market & economy the way it's going, the pending election, the unknown variables, dh's financial advisor saying that he's going to sell his house and rent for 2 years, and finding out today that our Honda Civic needs $$ work done...

but after some more research, exploration of options this cold and rainy tuesday evening, and wise advice from a parent, we feel much better about our pending purchase.

today we visited two new housing developments nearby and looked at model homes, floor plans, and options. (i like new homes...i've always liked them...and i like model homes for their decorating ideas.) we already considered the area, commute distance, convenience, and the elem schools and picked the best area overall. we learned today that a new elementary school is going to be built in the area w/in the next 2 yrs, so then the area's going to be re-divided, so it's going to be even better - initially one of the reasons we made our current choice over one of the new developments was b/c of the school it feeds into. it's definitely been a process. we're getting a better deal per sq foot than a brand new home of course, but we've also come up with ideas and cosmetic improvements to add value to our pending purchase. i've come up with architectural details and design elements i'd like to add.

house inspection...

was this afternoon. it was good overall, no big major problems except for the open patio addition put on by the builder, a few yrs later...apparently the pitch of the roof compared to the addition caused some of the rain water to back-up to the edge of the house...and some of it is rotting. some other code things that have changed since the house was built in 2000, or the codes weren't followed that strictly back then in this town? who knows?

i didn't realize till today but dh doesn't really like the floor plan of the house. i'm okay with it. we both agree the bedrooms are a bit small, but it is a 4 bedroom in the square footage of a normally what would be a spacious 3-bedrm. the kitchen isn't my fave...and the cabinets were painted white - which i sorta dislike. everything in the kitchen is bland - all white and almond color appliances. not my fave. but whatever...we're not going to live in it forever. i figure we can replace the cabinet hardware (which it seems that they added on) and redo some fixtures in the house. just some other cosmetic things that could make the house look more cohesive in style, add some architectural details...minor ones. etc...

but it is stressful buying a house. a lot of money and a big step. we had those "second thoughts" tonight... it IS still our option period and we could back out and just be out $25 bucks... but i don't think we'll back out. the house isn't perfect or anything, but we both like a lot of things about it... but it's the location that's sold us. so... and we're getting a good deal (we think)... and a new HD plasma TV with the deal.

we could second guess ourselves and the market... we could wait and see what else comes up, stuff always comes up all the time...but it's not like the area is going to change all that much. we've driven down practically every street in the town like at least twice and seen a lot of houses as they've come up on the market. it'd be good to just stop the searching... though i've really enjoyed looking at houses and enjoyed the search. something that's been rather fun to do with our time.

i could sit here and worry about subletting the place that we're in now. but why?

anyways... i could be doing so many other things with my time right now... like sleep

down memory lane...our courtship

so here's a remix of photo highlights from our courtship...
...a bunch in manhattan b/c that's where i was living at the time
and the empire state building is where we got engaged, the day after my birthday. yay!
...and then ones from our engagement photo shoot.

to two wonderful years of marriage...

so i didn't get to pay tribute to two years of marriage...
happy two years! and to many more!

since our anniversary is right before christmas, it makes it a bit more complicated to get away and celebrate. but we did have a nice evening at la madeleine's - one of our fave places to go since it was where we ate on our 1st date (and one of my faves since childhood).

they accepted our offer

and so now it's going to be under contract. yay! dh just called.

yeah... dh woke me up way too early this morning. he couldn't sleep b/c he was thinking about the house. so then i was up and got to thinking about the house and couldn't go back to sleep.

thank goodness for inspirational & beautiful children's photography. it takes my mind off a lot of things...like passing the time when waiting.

house hunting

so the house hunting resumed on jan 5th. and in the span of a few short days and only two days of actual going out with our new realtor...we've made offers on two houses as of wednesday. the first, we nixed for many reasons after the counter offer - namely the seller and the seller's blumbering realtor. they bought too much house before selling their previous home and are now in a bad situation. and they didn't even put in any wk on the home to be sold and want a huge profit off of it. ha!

this second, i think it's going to work out, but i hate the waiting game. we could've had a quick negotiation, but i think our realtor misunderstood how we wanted her to phrase our counter-offer to his counter-offer, therefore, with the way the psychology of negotiation works, it will now take till tomorrow and both parties won't be as "instantaneously happy" with the result, even though the result may have probably been the same either way. i just need to learn to let things slide even more...and be better at letting go...

we definitely like this realtor much better than the previous ones. on top of things, professional, nice demeanor, organized, says what she means, isn't a "yes" person, but gives good feedback.

regarding deals. yes, there's always a deal out there. sometimes more than others. i think timing is working out...though i was less "contented" about it earlier in the evening...and esp tuesday night when we chose the house to make an offer on... after finding out rates this morning, dh was really happy, and therefore i was too.

re: my default thoughts - what the brain works on when it's not consciously processing anything. i've been more focused on photography than house hunting. i've been good and not emotionally vested in any of house searching, so no heartaches there...but these two things have been taking up a big chunk of my mental processing. then H and dh... the rest has been neglected...esp dinners/grocery shopping & domestic things. oh well.

so now in the wee hours of the morning... i'm dealing with the prospect of moving again and i think i'm okay (b/c i'm too tired to care now probaby). dh said he'd handle old residence stuff and i can handle new residence stuff. that's cool with me. i get too stressed out with PACKING and moving. plus i'm rather attached to our townhome. it's a nice townhome and nice community. and i'm used to it though it's not even been a year (~8 mos). creature of habit....or sentimentality. don't wanna think about it again till tomorrow and AFTER things are more concrete...like our offer being accepted.

new year resolutions & goals

Happy New Year!

to a great and wonderful year filled with accomplished goals and fulfilled wishes and another one to come!

so, my personal new year's resolutions & goals (not including the fam)...for my own personal accountability.
i want to:

• photograph 2 sessions a month. what started as a dream and whim at the end of last year is now taking off! and i didn't think it would so soon in 2008...i thought maybe later than sooner... but yay for progress! this way i still have time to be a mom and wife and be me, but still have time to do something on the side that i enjoy. and this way i can be "wking from home" and building something for the future.
  
• learn a new technique/skill/try something new every week.
  
• keep up with blogging at least weekly - esp on H's site. consolidate maybe?
  
• need to journal for real somewhere...maybe here? maybe not here?
  
• take belly dancing or dancing lessons. start up yoga & pilates again.
  
• something with violin? i dunno if i want to renew that or not... i guess i'll think about it.
  
• SIMPLIFY. & get organized! very broad and all-encompassing. this is something that's been perpetually bugging me b/c it's never-ending. i need to break it down... but not going to do it here.
  
• so...apparently...we're going to move into a house soon... once again, i thought or was hoping it'd be later than sooner... so i need to get that in order. i HATE packing & moving. but i want to get the new house situated, decorated, and consistently maintained. i didn't think that i'd be so attached to the townhome...and not want to move...it is a nice townhome & nice community.
  
• expand my garden. cultivate the plants. expand the herbs. so far there's basil, tomatoes & bell pepper. need more plants and more land and more garden. add rosemary, parsley, thyme, cilantro, spinach, lettuce. learn more about gardening. maybe add flowers to the mix? practical plants that are multi-purpose.
  
• start a compost. recycle plastics, metals, & glass.
  
• continue with coupon shopping, deal-finding, bargain-hunting. maximize the dollar. maybe add garage sales into the mix...sigh.
  
• there's probably more...there are new projects all the time. and with a new house..sheesh--endless! but if i put more, i'll not do them b/c it's too much. i can't even remember 2007's resolutions. i think i wrote them down, but even if i wrote them down, i couldn't find them... so that's why i'm posting here.
  

christmas craftiness

so this is a long overdue update...

i made piped christmas spritz cookies to take caroling for fhe on dec 17th, 2007. they took forever! i'm not a martha stewart nor a molly. i always would love to make cute crafty things, entertain, bake, cook gourmet meals, but i only manage to do it once in awhile...or once a year...ha! it was even more difficult as the dependent didn't want to nap that day.

here are some trees...




and some wreaths...


the trees turned out the best...

earlier in december...i made these ornaments at enrichment. appropriate that these guys were made from shells...totally cute idea! i wanted to get/make an ornament each year to add to the tree...and this year there were a bunch (3 angels, 2 santas & a star).

i personally liked the angels a lot better than the santa...